Auburn lawyers say the cutest things to skip work for football

It's that time again, sports fans, for the hard-working professionals of Alabama to put the priorities of the Deep South into practice. No. 1: Jesus. No. 2: Football. No. 3: Work, the wheels of justice and everything else.

Exhibit A: Birmingham attorney LaBella Alvis, Auburn alum, who discovered with dismay that she was scheduled to be in court at 4 p.m. on Jan. 10, the same day her beloved Tigers will be kicking off against Oregon in the BCS Championship Game in Glendale, Ariz. Naturally, she did what any self-respecting Alabama lawyer would do in the same situation: She filed a motion to delay the court date so she can attend the game – in verse. From the actual motion:

T'was three weeks before Christmas
When all through the muck
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a Duck.

For Oregon had won big two weeks before
When Arizona couldn't keep its first half score.

Boise State, however, stumbled and fell
In an overtime nail-biter which made even Auburn's comebacks pale.

The jerseys were hung in the lockers with care
With hopes that the cheerleaders soon would be there.

And the fans in our colors, Cam in his cap
Who knew victory would be ours by the end of the half?

Et cetera. The final lines: "So, please, please, please Judge/Consider my plea/'Cause this is a game/I really want to see./So let me hear you exclaim as we walk out of sight/Go to Glendale Counselor and have a great night!"

Alvis will learn her BCS fate Friday. There is recent precedent for her success: Another Auburn fan, Michael Mulvaney, also motioned to delay a trial this week so he could attend the game, on the grounds that "Without Cam Newton (or Nick Saban as our coach) it is hard to imagine this ever happening again." Exhibits A and B in his appeal: Pictures of his daughters in Auburn gear. In Mulvaney's case, judge Kristi DuBose granted the motion on Wednesday due to her own "unique understanding of the predicament," which was attached to the decision.

Meanwhile, not to be outdone, Oregon alum Ron Pettichord decided to put off his open-heart surgery until Jan. 12 in order to watch the game, despite a distant chance that his enlarged aorta could, in his words, "burst." A small risk to run, by Prothro's logic, considering the alternative: "What if I never woke up? I'd never know the score."

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Hat tip: Friends of the Program.
Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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