PHOENIX ? Stew Force Once has landed in Arizona for this week's All-Star festivities and I am happy to report that all previous reports are true: It is indeed hot as (base)balls down here in the valley.
Who'da thunk it? This region may have been sweltering under the sun for millions of years, but it takes a nation's worth of sportswriters arriving en masse to confirm that the "dry heat," in fact, really exists. Failed weathermen of the journalism world, unite!
It's so hot that Bud Selig is expected to opt for a dress shirt with short sleeves.
Actually, that's a terrible example given the commissioner's usual wardrobe. It's actually so hot that the next player to drop out will be replaced on the roster by a Tusken Raider.
Ah, see what I did there? I just combined the two main issues of this upcoming All-Star game at Chase Field in one semi-decent "Star Wars" reference. With a haboob of replacement players working its way in on Monday morning, it's almost impossible to remember who's here, who's supposed to be here and who's just happy they got late notice they'll be receiving the All-Star bonuses from their contracts.
But, hey, what does it matter? Baseball is on break for its Midsummer Classic and I'll be here to report on the scene. First thing up are the starting pitcher press conferences, followed by the National League player availability in which I'll wait out reporters asking inane questions to ask questions that are even more inane.
Stay tuned and follow along on Facebook and Twitter.
Jaime King Lokelani McMichael Freida Pinto Eva Longoria Susan Ward
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