Thursday, March 31, 2011

Photo gallery: A bootless Serena Williams dazzles at Oscar parties

A dazzling Serena Williams, sans boot (finally!), made two red carpet appearances in Hollywood on Sunday night. The tennis star attended Elton John's Academy Awards viewing party and then made an appearance at Graydon Carter's Vanity Fair celebration.

Serena began the night at a fundraiser for Elton John's AIDS foundation. The dress was beautiful, if a little "Black Swan"-ish. Venus probably thought it needed to be three feet shorter.

Though Serena holds up her various accessories in this picture, more attention was focused on what she didn't have on her foot. "I finally had the cast taken off a few days ago," Serena told the New York Post. "I have been wearing it for so many months, so I am so happy. My foot feels good and I'm starting to train right away, and I intend to be back for the French Open [in May]."

Timetables for Serena's return are as reliable as Charlie Sheen (zing!), but after months of open-ended responses to the "when are you coming back?" question, it's good to hear a definitive date for a change.

Serena made a costume change and then stopped by the night's biggest soiree, the Vanity Fair Oscar party.

Another glamorous look. The black one is better, but both of Serena's gowns are "best-dressed list" material. 

Is that a bag, a taquito or the Dead Sea Scrolls? Discuss.

Once inside the party, Serena hobnobbed with celebrities. And Brett Ratner. Though Serena's gowns were long enough to cover her feet, this quote, "I have so missed wearing heels, I can't wait to get them back on!" and the fact that she's not towering over the director of "Rush Hour 3" suggests she's wearing flats.

From the Washington Post's description of the VF party:

"Someone bid $80,000 at Elton John's party for two tickets to this one. The cost of a top-tier college education -- for what? To get elbowed in the ribs by the most skilled crowd-parter in the world: Serena Williams, whose backhand is crippling in a roomful of people who ignore every 'Pardon me.'"

She's throwing elbows? Was Justine Henin there? Did Peter Fonda say he didn't care for Green Day?  

Serena can hold her own in Hollywood as well as she can in Wimbledon. But let's hope she trades in red carpets for red clay real soon.

Grace Park Jill Wagner Susie Castillo Fergie Ivanka Trump

Vitali Klitschko wins bizarre fight as Odlanier Solis suffers leg injury in the first round

All the build up and the hype for that? Boxing's heavyweight division can't get out of its way sometimes. The latest mess unfolded in Cologne, Germany where it took less than three minutes for Vitali Klitschko to walk out of the ring with his WBC heavyweight title.

With five seconds left in the first round, Cuban Odlanier Solis suffered a leg injury and couldn't continue at 3:00 of the first.

Moving forward, Solis (17-1, 12 KOs) was popped with a decent right hook from Klitschko. As he went to set his left leg, it slid forward and he right knee turned inward. When Solis went to re-plant the right, he went down in a heap. That was it. Fight over.

Klitschko (42-2, 39 KOs) retains his title with his seventh straight successful defense in his second go around as the WBC champ.

Former heavyweight champ Lennox Lewis questioned the validity of the injury, but it appeared Solis was legitimately injured. Lewis joined Tony Paige and Sam Rosen on the free view of the fight on EpixHD.com.

Amanda Detmer Emma Stone Raquel Alessi Marisa Coughlan Shanna Moakler

Rickie Fowler within striking distance at Arnie’s tournament

It's not hard to spot Rickie Fowler on the golf course. Dressed in his loud shirts and matching shoes, he usually sticks out like a sore thumb ... which probably isn't a good thing when you're trying to sneak up on the leaders and make a Sunday charge.

With the exception of Fowler's best friend Bubba Watson, who is currently a shot ahead of him, Fowler may be the biggest name within striking distance of the leaders going into the final round at Arnie's tournament.

Six back of Martin Laird, Fowler has an outside shot at catching the Scot, but he'd need a lot to go his way to get in contention. The good thing for Fowler is that he's played relatively well on Sunday this season, posting a 70 average in the four events where he's made the cut.

But to win his first event Fowler needs to go low in the final round. I mean, really low. With prime scoring conditions expected on Sunday, who knows what we can expect from Fowler. K.J. Choi threw up a 8-under 64, so you know low scores are out there. He just needs to get in birdie mode and see where he ends up.

It seems crazy to consider Fowler a contender at five shots back. But if this tournament has taught us anything over the years, it's that you should expect the unexpected.

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Laird’s birdies, Woods’ guts lead the shots of the weekend

Another fine tournament weekend, and with it some more fine shots to amuse and entertain you. Behold, friends, the shots of the weekend!

First, Martin Laird holed this birdie on 16 in the fourth round to take a two-stroke lead and firmly secure Steve Marino's hands around his own throat:

Next, Tiger Woods got creative behind a tree on hole 9 of Round 3. Me, I wouldn't be standing that close to his swing, knowing how things have gone of late:

Sergio Garcia -- remember him? -- had this lovely approach on 18 at the end of round 3. Another solid weekend for Serge.

Bubba Watson closed out his third round with this amazingly well-read birdie:

And check this victory-from-the-jaws-of-defeat birdie from Jason Bohn on No. 17 in round 2:

Finally, Spencer Levin didn't win, but oh, he had a fine shot here on the second hole of the first round:

Congrats to all our best-shot winners. How'd your weekend go?

Vinessa Shaw Rebecca Romijn Nadine Velazquez Pink Mila Kunis

AL West preview: Rangers look to overcome offseason turmoil

Rejoice, rejoice, the baseball season is almost here! In an attempt to quickly get some of you slackers up to speed on the year ahead, Big League Stewards Kevin Kaduk and David Brown look at a division, hold a conversation about the issues therein and then issue some predictions on standings and award-winners. Our quest continues with a look at the four-team American League West.

'Duk: So we meet again, Mr. Brown! We kicked off our annual divisional previews on Wednesday with a look at the defending World Series champion San Francisco Giants and the NL West, so it probably only makes sense that we continue with a look at the other Fall Classic team and the rest of the AL West.

When we last met with the Rangers, they were winning their first two playoff series in franchise history, making their first World Series appearance and doing a splendid job of pulling themselves up from the bootstraps of bankruptcy. But the offseason can bring a lot of changes and there were plenty around Arlington. Cliff Lee rejected the proximity of Rangers Ballpark to his home in Arkansas and bolted for Philadelphia. Michael Young and the team had a very public falling out (though he's still on the team and back to half-smiling). CEO Chuck Greenberg resigned his position after only a few months on the job, Josh Hamilton went to the hospital with pneumonia and the Brandon Webb dice roll may have already come up showing snake eyes.

If it weren't for the signing of Adrian Beltre, that cute little Michael Young kid and C.J. Wilson's goodwill trip to South Africa, we'd have no choice but to believe the Rangers were jinxed by that Edgar Renteria homer off Cliff Lee. Can they recapture the magic that gave us our first all-West World Series since the Angels and Giants in '02?

DB: Well, that was quite a Texas-sized introduction, my good 'Duk. Very befitting of a World Series participant. But you know what was missing? The one thing that's been missing from the Rangers all spring: Li'l Ron Washington. Where's young Liam Roybal at? It's not really time for Rangers baseball until Wash's mini doppelganger shows his curiously shaved head in camp.

Short of Li'l Wash's re-appearance, how about the announcement that Neftali Feliz will not be joining the starting rotation and pitch 200 innings, and instead will remain the closer and pitch 70? It's not unexpected news, and not surprisingly it's getting widely panned -- save for a few places*.

I understand how Wash might make this decision. We, as a baseball society, have hysterically persuaded ourselves that the ninth-inning save situation is some kind of holy grail for which only a few men are suited. Never mind that Feliz was brought up as a starter, he has the stuff to be a great starter and the Rangers could use a great starter ? considering Lee is gone, and Matt Harrison, Derek Holland and Tommy Hunter are just OK (not to mention one "H" short of a club).

It's a bad decision. But will it cost the Strangers the AL West? They still have a mighty powerful lineup, though Hamilton and Nelson Cruz are a bit, as the dad in "A Christmas Story" says, "fra-gee-lay." And Adrian Beltre is a bad-hop grounder from severed manhood problems. And Ian Kinsler always seems to be on the verge of having something be wrong with him.

And, assuming they would be the apparent heirs, have the Oakland Athletics improved *that* much? With all of these bad omens in Texas, do the Rangers need to have improved that much?

'Duk: Well, if you want to talk about Kinsler always being on the verge of injury, I should point out that he's hanging out on that ledge with almost every member of the A's bullpen. And Eric Chavez, too, though he's no longer with Oakland and that just makes me feel weird. Death, taxes and Eric Chavez on the A's disabled list, you know.

As for the Oakland team that is present and accounted for, I think I'd like it a lot more if your Answer Man friend in the front office hadn't shipped off Carlos Gonzalez for half of a season of Matt Holliday. The pitching staff is great, sure, but where are the runs going to come from? The A's ranked 12th in the AL for total runs last season and hit the second-lowest amount of home runs. Kevin Kouzmanoff led the team with 16!

I'll allow that Billy Beane should never load his team with sluggers ? not in that ballpark, not with that budget ? but your pitching staff can only win you so many games. Forgive me for being skeptical of a team that's counting on Hideki Matsui, Josh Willingham, David DeJesus and maybe some midseason magic from young Chris Carter to turn things around at the plate.

DB: At least we're not talking about the Mariners offense in Oakland. Hideki Matsui and Josh Willingham are real upgrades, even if they're not sexy. And don't forget a full season of Coco Crisp hitting as he did in the second half of 2010. Maybe. Until he breaks again. The bullpen injuries are troubling, and all of the Fangraphs experts worry about regression to the mean (that's bad) for Trevor Cahill. I'm not sure where Chris Carter is going to play, with first base being blocked by Daric Barton, the Geeks' God of Walks, but it would be nice if he transformed himself into a power-hitting shortstop. There's questions here, and I'm not sure if Billy Beane himself thinks the A's can overtake the Rangers this season, but I like the cut of this team's collective jib. I think this race will go down to the wire ? maybe AL Central-style, to the 163rd game.

'Duk: A photo finish, you say? Can I push the Angels into that frame? I know it's a bit fashionable to forget about them after they had the gall to not win the division for just one season, but I don't get where some don't even want to include them in the conversation. Vernon Wells' big contract hasn't anchored this team to the cellar yet!

There's understandably some concern here with Kendrys Morales finding his forgotten 'S', but not his health. They're also a little long in the tooth at some positions and that's never a good thing when you're talking about the possibility of a tight pennant race.

But here's the things I like about the Halos: They arguably have the best 1-2 punch with Dan Haren and Jared Weaver, the presence of Joel Pineiro and Ervin Santana solidifies the rotation and only Scott Kazmir qualifies as a real question mark. In other areas, the bullpen should be improved with the addition of Scott Downs (so long as he stays healthy), the acquisition of Wells allows Bobby Abreu to come into the dugout to DH and there's always the promise of uber-prospect Mike Trout mashing his way out of the minors and into the big league lineup. This isn't the type of squad that the Angels are used to dominating the division with, but it's the type of team that can win the smallest grouping of teams in the league.

DB: Funny thing about being in the smallest division ? you're also that much closer to the bottom. Well, the Mariners ought to offer some protection for the Angels in that respect. But it's not hard to see why there's diminished optimism for the Halos in most parts; they had the worst offseason of anyone. The Yankees' disappointment with Cliff Lee has nothing on the Halos, who had to trade their way into overpaying for a ballplayer (you mentioned Vernon) because no free agents of note would take Arte Moreno's money outright. The outfield should be good at catching baseballs (though the talk of it being the "best ever," in anything, is silliness). Brandon Wood doesn't appear to be working out for the umpteenth season. They get below-average production from the middle of the infield and catcher (why it was so necessary to ditch Mike Napoli when they were taking so much of Wells' salary, I don't know) and you mentioned Morales' slow comeback from his celebration injury. I think you're sugar-coating the relief problems, too. I don't like how the team is put together. I'd pick them to finish last, if not for the Triple-A roster in the Pacific Northwest.

'Duk: That's it, I'm telling Howie Kendrick! But let's talk about those aforementioned Seattle Mariners first. It's hard to believe everyone was drinking so much teal Kool-Aid (mmm, teal Kool-Aid) last winter when we now sit here and look at what was actually poured. Yick!

I mean, it's gotten so bad that all the fans have to look forward to are: 1) A great start by Felix Hernandez that he still has a great chance of losing every fifth day, 2) A denial by Jack Zduriencik that he'll trade King Felix the other four days, 3) the chance to see raw rookie pitcher Michael Pineda develop into something special, 4) the major league debut of Dustin Ackley whenever he gets called up, and 5) the team giving away actual garbage as the fans head home for the night. Am I missing anything?

DB: You CALL Lt. Kendrick and you tell him to take a pitch once in a while. Moving along. The Mariners are really at a crossroads right now. No more Ken Griffey. No more broadcaster Dave Niehaus. The aforementioned talent issues. We were really deluded about the team's condition. At least Ichiro is still around, otherwise they'd be out of icons. I mean, what's Dustin Ackley gonna do when he comes up? Even if he's the next Julio Cruz, he's still not going to be able to carry the M's like Junior or A-Rod. He's not one of THOSE kinds of prospects. Yeah, Brendan Ryan is poised to have a comeback season at shortstop. But he's Brendan RYAN. And IF Chone Figgins gets on base more, which he should, who is going to knock him in? Even if Milton Bradley finds himself in the good graces of society, look at his diminished capacity in the batter's box. Justin Smoak could grow into a middle-of-the-order guy, but he also might have the upside of Alvin Davis. Which would be ... OK.� Franklin Gutierrez, an enjoyable ballplayer to watch on defense, has the worst stomach in the majors. They seriously have four or five Triple-A bats in this lineup. And, as you said, King Felix only pitches every fifth day or so. Man, it's a dreadful outlook.

* * *

Predicted order of finish:
'Duk: 1. Rangers, 2. Angels, 3. A's, 4. Mariners
DB: 1. A's, 2. Rangers, 3. Angels, 4. Mariners

AL West Cy Young
'Duk: Felix Hernandez, Mariners
DB: Felix Hernandez, Mariners

AL West MVP
'Duk: Adrian Beltre, Texas Rangers
DB: Nelson Cruz, Texas Rangers

AL West ROY
'Duk: Michael Pineda, Mariners
DB: Mark Trumbo, Angels

Previously: NL West

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Draftniks are head over heels for Blaine Gabbert. Why?

The declarations and whims of NFL draft scouts are an ancient mystery to college football fans, especially when it comes to quarterbacks. How, exactly, did a brainy overachiever who racked up big stats against a succession of second-rate Mountain West defenses ever get to�be the No. 1 overall pick? Why did ESPN's leading gurus once consider athletic but under-productive Washington QB Jake Locker to be "etched in stone" as the No. 1 pick, at the same time they considered the hyper-productive Tim Tebow to be a celebrated fullback? Why, after hyping Locker's talent following his junior season, did the scouts abruptly jump off the bandwagon en masse after his virtually identical senior season? Why was it so hard for a guy who threw more touchdown passes than anyone in the history of college football to even get a workout? Obviously, the transition to the next level is an … inexact science, at best, even for the professionals.

The hot name as this year's pre-draft hype hits the stretch run will send college fans back to that place of confusion. Just how well do you know Missouri quarterback Blaine Gabbert? If you don't ? and unless you're a Big 12 fan, you almost certainly don't ?�you will. A solid effort at the combine moved Gabbert into the top spot on Mel Kiper Jr's draft board last week, quickly followed by an endorsement from Kiper's ESPN colleague, Adam Schefter. Scores of mock drafts followed suit in short order. If it's hardly unanimous, the general consensus is falling quickly in his favor.

It's not hard to see what intrigues teams physically. Gabbert still has the ideal size (6-5, 235 pounds), big arm, quick release and non-monosyllabic demeanor that made him the most coveted pocket passer in the nation in the 2008 recruiting class. He looks like a No. 1 draft pick. Productivity-wise, it's a little dicier. If Gabbert does go in the top spot, it will be with arguably the thinnest resum� of any No. 1 pick in the era of draft-as-made-for-TV-spectacle, spanning the last two decades.

He generated no Heisman buzz, didn't get a sniff from the postseason All-America teams, doesn't own a single school passing record. Big 12 coaches thought he was no better than the third-best quarterback in the conference last year, behind at least Oklahoma State's Brandon Weeden and Baylor's Robert Griffin. He didn't stretch defenses downfield to any notable degree. Statistically, he ranked seventh among regular Big 12 starters in completion percentage, eighth in yards per attempt, eighth in touchdown:interception ratio and eighth in pass efficiency rating, the most important number in the game aside from the scoreboard. (Gabbert's efficiency rating was 64th nationally. Compare that to the other certain top-10 quarterback in this draft class, Cam Newton, who finished second nationally with one of the most efficient seasons in college history, besides emerging as one of the nation's most unstoppable runners and best fourth-quarter rally-maker.)

Speaking of the scoreboard, Missouri ranked eighth in the conference in scoring offense last year after ranking sixth with Gabbert pulling the trigger in 2009, and made it to 10 wins largely by virtue of the league's No. 1 scoring defense. The Tigers were basically out of contention for a Big 12 title or BCS bid by early November, and out of the top 15 in the final polls after an Insight Bowl loss to Iowa ?�a game they led until the Hawkeyes took an awful Gabbert interception to the house for the game-winning touchdown with five minutes to play. Mizzou fans will follow his pro career with pride, but it's hard to imagine them ever revering Gabbert's memory as a Tiger the way they do either of his predecessors, Chase Daniel and Brad Smith ? two far more exciting, productive players, and in Daniel's case, the face of the greatest season in school history in 2007. (And it was later still, in his less celebrated senior campaign in 2008, that Daniel actually set all of Missouri's single-season passing records.)

Yet Smith, the scrambler, has had to make his living as a jack-of-all-trades receiver and kick returner with the Jets; and Daniel, owner of a vastly more productive career in the same spread offense that spawned Gabbert, wasn't drafted at all. (He's currently backing up another overlooked, 6-foot-nothing Texan, Drew Brees, in New Orleans, which is better than a lot of other names on the endless list of celebrated college passers who have immediately fallen off the face of the earth at the next level.) Gabbert going higher, even much higher, is predictable due to his size ? looking the part, after all, is at least half of being the part. But how did he get all the way to No. 1? Are five inches and a few impressive workouts worth that much of a difference? Was his supporting cast, featuring an All-Big 12 receiver (T.J. Moe) and a Mackey Award finalist as the best tight end in the nation (Michael Egnew), that inferior?

Obviously, a good portion of the NFL is willing to bet that yes, actually, it does. They're the professionals here, so by all means, defer to their judgment over a blogger with a lot of statistics. (As with recruiting rankings, scouts are generally better at predicting the future than they get credit for.) If they're right, though, Missouri fans will have to occasionally whisper among themselves: Why didn't we get more out of this phenomenal talent when we had the chance?

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Meet Jim Tressel’s homegrown gameday stand-in

As expected, Ohio State has officially anointed co-defensive coordinator Luke Fickell as Jim Tressel's stand-in during the head coach's five-game suspension this fall. Aside from two years at Akron to get his feet wet in 2000-01, Fickell is a Columbus lifer: He was a legendary high school wrestler at nearby DeSales High (here he is en route to the state championship in 1992), was one of the anchors of some hellacious Buckeye defenses from 1992-96, and he's spent the last decade as an OSU assistant. According to the Columbus Dispatch, he's also been cited for "just four minor rules violations in 10 years," the last one coming in 2005, which is frankly not a bad record.

And that is your Luke Fickell Minute. The other pressing practical question about Tressel's game-day banishment ? who's going to call the plays on offense? ?�wasn't answered at today's press conference, and Tressel said he doesn't think "it's that big a deal." ("We don't have that many plays," he said, an admission no one will question.) My hope remains that at some point Tressel will urgently phone the sideline with coaching tips gleaned from TV, a la a concussed Luther Van Damme in the 1993 Pioneer Bowl, whose crucial insight that one of the West Texas guards "sticks his butt up in the air" before pass plays clinched Minnesota State's first national championship. Alas, in reality, all contact between Tressel and the sideline is verboten.

Otherwise, the Senator is around for the other six days of the week, which means nothing much should change: Practices, meeting and game planning should go on as usual, leaving it up to Fickell mainly to take the lead out of the tunnel and in arguing with the refs. If he holds an attrition-ravaged, scandal-plagued team together through a 5-0 start that includes dates with Miami and Michigan State, he'll be going places ?�even if it's only to the bigger office down the hall in a few years.

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Photos: You’re not in Arizona anymore, Brew Crew

There was snow in Cincinnati on Wednesday as the Milwaukee Brewers went through their last preseason workout of 2011. And while the weather isn't expected to play a major role in the game with the Reds on Thursday, you can't say the same about some of the 15 cities listed on Weather.com's opening day forecast. ("Delays possible?" Boooo.)

But wait ... what's this below?

Ah, much better.

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Scott Speed’s lawsuit against Red Bull allowed to stand

http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nascar_marbles__9/ept_sports_nascar_marbles-243311990-1236718834.jpg?ym2jG7AD3q1GF0ZTScott Speed didn't have the finest NASCAR career; over 76 Sprint Cup races, he achieved only one top-5 and three top-10s. As expected, with Kasey Kahne available for 2011, Red Bull clipped Speed's wings and cut him loose after the 2010 season.

Speed, however, wasn't quite willing to go quietly, and has filed a $6.5 million lawsuit against Red Bull. In the latest news, as reported by Scene, a North Carolina judge denied Red Bull's request to dismiss the suit, and will permit it to proceed. Speed had a seven-year history with Red Bull, even running Formula One in 2006 and 2007 and ARCA and trucks in 2008.

Red Bull had contended that Speed's NASCAR contract called for him to be fired if he didn't finish 15th in the standings. (He didn't.) Speed's counterclaim is that Red Bull didn't provide sufficient funding to run a top-flight NASCAR team.

Red Bull's reply? Because Speed finished 15th or better six times, and qualified 15th or better seven times, "even based just on this actual performance, the equipment to Speed was clearly satisfactory and competitive."

One fascinating element? The look into the mysterious world of driver contracts. The lawsuit notes that Speed's deal signed in September 2007 called for salaries of $300,000 in 2008, $500,000 in 2009 and $1 milion in 2010. Speed's performance bonuses included 50 percent of the prize money for top-10 finishes, 45 percent for 11th-20th, and 40 percent for any finish worse than that.

The company and Speed added to the deal in September 2008, with a salary of $1.5 million for 2011 with options for 2012 and 2013 with $500,000 raises per year. But in January 2010, a new deal halved Speed's pay for 2010. Four months later, Red Bull picked up Speed's option through 2013, but then fired him in November. (Kahne signed on with Red Bull in August. Surely there's no connection there.)

The suit's dollar figure arises from the salary Speed would have received from 2011 through 2013. The case will now proceed, and we shall be watching closely.

North Carolina judge denies Red Bull request [Scene Daily]

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Video analysis: Rios is ready to make some blockbuster fights

Boxing got just what it needed on Saturday. Another young fighter, who brings it and has huge knockout power. In an era, where the sport's becoming more Latino and eastern European, it also doesn't hurt that he's American.

In a fight on Showtime, Rios stood toe-to-toe with Miguel Acosta and brawled for 10 rounds. Rios a 24-year-old from Kansas, who's now training in Oxnard, Ca. is brash and good with the media. Combine that with his fighting style and Bob Arum is salivating.

Yahoo! Sports' lead boxing writer Kevin Iole talked with us about the big fights on the horizon for Rios. First up could be Marco Antonio Barrera and if Juan Manuel Marquez can't forge a deal with Manny Pacquiao, Rios is in the mix for JuanMan as well. 

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Colombian fans took a dead body to football match

A 17-year-old fan of Colombian side Cucuta Deportivo was shot dead while playing in a neighborhood park on Saturday -- allegedly by hired assassins. So on Sunday, his fellow members of the Barra del Indio fan group took a coffin supposedly filled with his corpse to the club's match against Envigado. Seriously.

Welcome to the hardcore world of South American football. From Colombia Reports:

After his wake, friends from "Barra del Indio" took the cadaver from the funeral home and paraded it around and then into the stadium in an attempt to pay homage to the slain soccer fan.

The medic for the soccer club, Julio Rivera, told the press, "They don't let in the "barras" (fanatics) but yes, a cadaver. This is the only part of the world where this has happened."

Colonel Alvaro Pico, a local police [official] said that the boy's death had nothing to do with his love for the soccer team rather it was a consequence of criminal actions in the area where he lived.

The event has generated controversy in Cucuta and stadium officials will hold a meeting to find out who permitted the entry of the cadaver and what punishment will be given.

Colonel Pico said they have identified some individuals who took the body from the funeral home.

Wow. So with that precedent set, the next time you taunt rival fans for having a stadium with the atmosphere of a morgue, be sure that it's not because their stands are filled with actual dead people.

Photo: Getty Images

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Puck Headlines: Mike Richards vs. Pens fans; Bertuzzi talks hit

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

"Is he experiencing headaches? Mmm-hmm. Does he have trouble walking? Mmm-hmm. Let me ask you guys this: Has he seen any new releases at a local multiplex? Ah, I see. No, not a severe concussion. That's my diagnosis. Next!"

? Mike Richards of the Philadelphia Flyers wrote on Twitter: "Does anyone else find it creepy that a 45 yr old man dress like hulk hogan has time to make that many signs.....just saying." Troy Beck says that's fightin' words about "Sign Guy," Hulk Hogan Doppleganger and Pittsburgh Penguins fan Cy Clark. [The Brog]

? The Pensblog opines: "We're sure Flyer fans love this, and the national media will say how awesome it is that Richards is having fun. But why is a captain of an NHL team so obsessed with signs being in the crowd?" [Pensblog]

? In case you haven't seen it, Pittsburgh Penguins coach Dan Bylsma and GM Ray Shero did a major dialing back of expectations on Sidney Crosby's return Wednesday afternoon, after news broke that he's been cleared to skate with the team again. Said Bylsma: "If you're talking about things unrelated to the concussion, the answer is the timing and the conditioning are not things we've even thought about or are concerned about, really. There's the progress that he needs to make and the steps that he needs to have (timing and conditioning-wise) is not even on the radar yet." [Penguins]

? Full Shero transcript. [Penguins]

? In the NHL relocation equivalent of unzipping one's pants and laying it on the table for all to see, 14,000 people in Quebec City filled Le Colisee on Tuesday to watch the Montreal/Atlanta game on television. [QMI]

? In which a college hockey championship game has to be replayed because one team's backup goalie, who didn't play a minute, was ineligible. [Global]

? The Monday Morning Quarterbacking of the Dallas Stars' refusal to trade Brad Richards has begun. [Defending Big D]

? Columbus Blue Jackets fans suddenly can't locate their Clitsome. [The Cannon]

? Bucky Gleason of the Buffalo News, who joined us on Puck Daddy Radio Wednesday, on the Buffalo Sabres: "Buffalo hardly looked like a team looking to clinch a playoff spot in the final seven games and possibly ascend to seventh, maybe even sixth. Instead, the Sabres played more like the team that had struggled during the first half of the season. Their defense was loose. They surrendered too many odd-man rushes. Their forwards failed to convert. They took silly penalties. Their goaltending wasn't good enough." [Buffalo News]

? The 6th Sens aren't exactly enamored with the idea of Simon Gagne joining the Ottawa Senators next season. [The 6th Sens]

? Local sportscaster jumps on soapbox about Kingston Frontenacs for a homer-riffic rant about supporting the team. "It was part Glenn Beck, part Leave Britney Alone, as Jeffries, without supporting evidence, opened with, 'There's a vocal minority in this city that for some reason, want this team to fail.' He was just getting warmed up." [Buzzing The Net]

? Please welcome back Daymond Langkow to Calgary Flames practice. [CP]

? Detroit Red Wings forward Todd Bertuzzi on his hit on Ryan Johnson: "I know if I went straight on I could have hit him pretty hard. If it was a guy who hits all the time and knows how to hit properly, I could've hit him really hard. He had his head down coming around the net, coming around the corner trying to make a hockey play, which you have to respect. ... I could've hit him really hard so I tried to ease up. When I eased up, your body goes a little bit loose and I caught him with one of my armpits." [Malik Report and Red Wings]

? Looking at the super sophomores and the sophomore slumpers this season. Michael Del Zotto is not a name we've heard in quite some time. [Daily Faceoff]

? Barry Melrose Rocks creates a hockey version of the Adidas "All In" ad campaign. [BMR]

? Does the potential demise of the Fiesta Bowl mean anything for the fate of the Phoenix Coyotes? [Hockey Writers]

? Brett Hull believes that T.J. Oshie's teammates are the ones to blame for his misbehavior: "I would blame more the teammates than I would him. You've got to take care of each other, especially that team. They're so young. They've got such an opportunity to bond together and be a great team. There's so much talent there. They've got to take care of each other in those situations off the ice." [Post Dispatch]

? USA Hockey announces its 2011 World Under-18 Championship roster, with players from California, Texas and Ohio. [NHL.com]

? No, seriously, who is Stephane Da Costa? [Hockey Wilderness]

? Another priceless Photoshop and a great recap of the Los Angeles Kings' win Tuesday night. [Royal Half]

? Finally, fun moment from Tuesday night's Edmonton Oilers game. NHL.com pun: "Sleeve It To Me."

Leslie Bega Maria Sharapova Lindsay Price Zoe Saldana Rachel Perry

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Khan outlasts Maidana in Fight of the Year candidate

Entering a 140-pound showdown in Las Vegas, Amir Khan was on the verge of super-stardom, but he needed to exorcise his one demon - a first round knockout he suffered back in 2008. The Brit did much to quiet the critics by showing a granite chin and guts galore. He took the best shots from Marcos Maidana, the nastiest power puncher in the junior welterweight division, and landed plenty of his own.

It was far from easy, but Khan edged Maidana via unanimous decision, 114-111, 114-111 and 113-112 to retain his WBA 140-pound strap and answer a lot of questions about his ability to take a punch.

It's tough to find a fight this year that can match the power punching output that came from sides in this one.

"What a great fight it was, man," Khan said, before heading for a CAT scan. "I'm sure HBO are happy. I'm sure Sky are happy. This is boxing, and you have to fight the best. You can't take any shortcuts. Most people said to me, 'You've got no chin'. Well I've proved them wrong."

Khan was in control for much of the fight, but was always on the edge of eating that one big Maidana bomb. Towards the end of the fight, he did and it almost lost him the fight.

Khan (24-1, 17 KOs) tried to make it a short night. He floored Maidana with 29 seconds left in the first round, with a pair of vicious body shots. Maidana was in such pain on the ground, it prompted HBO announcer Jim Lampley, to say "he's not getting up" before recanting the statement.

Maidana (29-2, 27 KOs) fought hard and stalked Khan, but was outclassed badly over seven of the next eight rounds. Khan was comfortably in the lead and then the fight changed in the tenth.

With 1:50 left in the round, the Argentinian bomber cracked Khan with an overhand right that stopped the Brit in his tracks. He was on wobbly legs and Maidana poured it on.

It looked like there was no way Khan could survive, but he did. He took some hellacious shots, 23 in all and they all seemed like power shots.

"He was strong. I hit him with some big shots. And there were times in the fight when I got caught, but took it," Khan said. "I made a few mistakes that I won't make again. Sometimes I fight with my heart too much. But I'm young. I'm still learning."

Khan stayed clear of Maidana down the stretch and may have lost both rounds, but it was just enough to get by with the close decision.

It was a rough fight throughout. Referee Joe Cortez had trouble managing the fight. As Cortez stepped in to separate the fighters, Maidana often hit on the break.

He even had to take a point away in the fourth round when Maidana threw a back elbow as the fighters were being separated. The elbow hit a target, but not Khan. It actually caught Cortez in the shoulder.

Maidana showed off an amazing chin. Through six rounds, he was outlanded 161-60. Khan made good on 48 percent of his punches to that point. That included 135 to Maidana's head. Rounds seven and eight weren't much better.

Maidana looked tired in the ninth and appeared to go down. Cortes ruled it a slip. The replay showed the combination of Maidana falling forward along with getting nailed by a right uppercut and a left to the body, made for a real knockdown. Khan wasn't given credit.

Maidana's body language was terrible at the end of the round. He stood in place, looking dazed from exhaustion and actually took a few steps towards Khan's corner.

He looked even worse coming out for tenth, which is why the barrage he unleashed on Khan was such a shocker.

There should definitely be a rematch in future. Golden Boy has big plans for Khan, so don't count on Maidana on getting a second chance anytime soon.

Paula Garcés Genelle Frenoy Shania Twain Gwen Stefani Sunny Mabrey

Henry Burris: quarterback, outstanding player, pop star?

Earlier this month, the web was hit with perhaps the most bizarre music video in a long while, Rebecca Black's "Friday". For those who somehow haven't been exposed to it yet and want to keep it that way, you can get a good idea of the song's inanity from Andy Hutchins' transcription of the lyrics here, featuring such stellar thoughts as "Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday/Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')/We-we-we so excited." It turns out the video's made by the Ark Music Factory, which has a history of this kind of thing, but they certainly topped themselves with this one. Since the initial video's release, though, the web has been working to mock and redeem it with various twists, including a Bob Dylan version, a death metal version, a Chipmunks version and the sequel, "Saturday." None of those versions were performed by professional athletes, though, and that leads us to why we're talking about this on a CFL blog; Stampeders' quarterback and reigning CFL most outstanding player Henry Burris was guest-hosting a morning show on Calgary's Jack FM with Calgary Sun columnist Eric Francis yesterday, and Francis convinced Burris to do his own heavily-Autotuned version of "Friday," which you can see below:

The lyrics of the new version are below the jump:

"Friday, Friday, football's played on Friday/Gotta get down on Friday/F-R-I-D-A-Y/It's Friday, gonna break it down on Friday/Everyone's looking forward to the weekend/It's football on Friday, Friday Night Football/You get down on Friday, everyone's looking forward to the weekend/Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday/Gotta get down, gotta get down on Friday/Tomorrow is Saturday, tomorrow is Saturday/Sunday is afterwards."

The best part's the conversation Burris and Francis have at the end, though:

Burris: Ka-ching, ka-ching!
Francis: Yeah, that's big money.
Burris: We're going to cry all the way to the bank.

For reference, here's TSN's current Friday Night Football theme. Should the Burris track replace it?

I'd suggest that Burris probably shouldn't quit his day job just yet; after all, he was chosen as the CFL's most outstanding player last year, and he's probably got a better chance of repeating there than he does of winning a Juno. Still, on the continuum of Burris' non-football activities (which have ranged from embarrassing pictures in women's underwear and getting mocked for them to inaccurately predicting that the "Eastern media" would keep him from winning the Most Outstanding Player award), this is pretty good. He gets plenty of props for the effort he puts into carrying a joke like this (even if he does almost crack up laughing a couple of times during the song). I doubt TSN's going to use it as a Friday Night Football theme (even with the shoutout in there!), and their viewers will probably thank them,  but they should try it once at the start of the year; the reaction could be priceless. I don't know about you, but Burris' version of "Friday" certainly has me anticipating the return of football...

Josie Maran Leighton Meester Dominique Swain Jamie Chung Alicia Witt

Who is Gary Woodland, and what’s he doing going to Augusta?

Another week, another newcomer winning a PGA Tour tourney and punching a ticket to The Masters. This week it was Gary Woodland, who won the Transitions Championship in dramatic, final-hole fashion.

Much is being made of the fact that Woodland once played college basketball and, you know, there's some kind of big college basketball tourney going on right now. Woodland did play hoop, for D-II Washburn, but as he said on Sunday, that wasn't his first love. No, he wanted to be a Kansas Jayhawk.

"KU was the only school that recruited me out of high school [for golf], Division I wise, and I kind of took that negatively," Woodland said. "I thought, maybe I'm not that good ... So I decided I wanted to still play basketball. My first game was in Allen Fieldhouse, we got smoked by Kansas, and I realized maybe I need to do something different; this isn't going to work." He scored three points on one-of-seven shooting, and decided that perhaps there were other options out there.

"The coach at Kansas told me when I decided I was going to play basketball, he said, 'you're going to change your mind, you have a future in this game,'" Woodland added. "I called him a year later, and here we stand."

He put together some solid-but-unspectacular years after turning pro in 2007, but this year has marked a turnaround. He lost in a playoff to Jhonattan Vegas at the Bob Hope Classic earlier this year, and Sunday he outlasted the horrifically slow play of Webb Simpson to take down the win. And as he told it, his hoops background helped steady him down the back nine.

"I really wasn't nervous," he said. "I think it was the adrenaline I was trying to control. When I started making putts, the crowd started getting loud. [It] kind of took me back to basketball days. I was getting pretty pumped up, so I was trying to control that."

He did, just enough to go birdie-par on the final two holes to hold off Simpson. Coming up for Woodland is Augusta, where the sound of the fans and the azaleas will pound in his ears in a way that no college basketball arena ever could.

Cameron Richardson Chandra West Kasey Chambers Megan Ewing Kristanna Loken

Photo gallery: Celebrating President's Day and tennis

In honor of President's Day, Busted Racquet presents a photo gallery of United States presidents in various tennis-related situations:

Ronald Reagan poses with a young Venus and Serena Williams:

Bill Clinton watches Andre Agassi at the French Open:

George H.W. Bush hangs out with Anna Kournikova and Chris Evert: -- (There were a number of pics of the elder Bush playing tennis -- the only active photos we could find of a president playing the sport -- but how can you pass up Anna gazing deep into 41's eyes?)

Barack Obama presents Billie Jean King with the Presidential Medal of Freedom:

Richard Nixon (then vice-presidents) presents the 1957 US Open winner's trophies to Althea Gibson and Mal Anderson:

 

Shanna Moakler Portia de Rossi Jolene Blalock Nichole Robinson Monet Mazur

Overnight MMA hijinx: Lesnar chokes Fallon, Guida funnels beer

Brock Lesnar got a pop on Jimmy Fallon's show last night to promote Season 13 of The Ultimate Fighter. Fallon closed by having Brock "show him a move." The former UFC champ demonstrated a version of the rear-naked.

Next time a TV host or reporter asks to be manhandled someone needs to lock on that twister "The Korean Zombie" used on Saturday during his win over Leonard Garcia.

In other overnight news, UFC fighters drink beer and sometimes lots of it. Apparently, Clay Guida funneling some brew at Lake Havasu during an unnamed time recently is news, so TMZ posted this photo. Since the site is also following the awesome "Teen Mom" brawl from last week, we'll oblige.

Gretha Cavazzoni Marla Sokoloff Jennifer Love Hewitt Tina Fey Gina Philips

NFL’s Zbikowski scores a first-round TKO with a body shot

Las Vegas _ Tom Zbikowski is accustomed to crushing ribs when he's on the football field. He used the same principle tonight in the ring at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.

Zbikowski, a safety for the Baltimore Ravens, drilled Richard Bryant with a left hook to the ribs. The flabby Bryant stood for a second and then crumbled to the floor. He rose to his feet at the count of seven, but referee Russell Mora didn't he feel he was able to go on. Zbikowski picked up his second professional win at 1:45 of the first round.

Zbikowski, a former All-American at Notre Dame, last fought in 2006. With the NFL lockout looming, Zbikowski decided it was time to step back in to the ring. He fought 100 times as an amateur and said before the fight, he's always wanted to get back in the ring.

As an opponent, Bryant was about what you'd expect a guy with one pro fight to face. Give Bryant some credit, he stood toe-to-toe with the NFL player and blasted him with a few thumping rights. Zbikowski, giving away 32 pounds, walked right through the shots. If Zbikowski chooses to makes a run at a legitimate boxing career he'll have to go to battle at cruiserweight, one of boxing's least glamorous divisions. He plays football around 215 pounds. He weighed in yesterday at 193.

Foxy Brown Ivana Bozilovic Cristina Dumitru Cat Power January Jones

Showdown, Week 11: K.J. Choi vs. Padraig Harrington

So in an attempt to inject a bit more life and interest into these early season tournaments, and because we're both inveterate gamblers who are one bad card from being out on the streets, Jay Busbee and I are playing a golf version of a football suicide pool: We each pick one golfer per tournament and see how they do against each other, straight up. Victory over the other guy gets one point, victory in the tournament gets three points. And when we burn a golfer, he's done for the year. This week: the the Transitions Championship!

Busbee: Well, my five-win lead has shrunk to zip. That sucks. Who made up the rules for this stupid game, anyway? For this week, I'm going with K.J. Choi, who is the Transitions' all-time money leader. (Remember that; you'll win a very lame trivia contest with it someday.) He hasn't played well this year, but he's comfortable at the track and he should bring home a win for me. He'd better, dammit.

Bacon: Do I like your Choi pick? Yes, I actually do, but not as much as a three-time major winner! Look out for Padraig Harrington this week. He's coming off a good week at Doral, and has played solid at this event before. Also, he's won three majors! Have I mentioned that before?!

Last Week: Bacon's pick of Nick Watney actually won the Cadillac Championship, earning him three points. Busbee's choice of Matt Kuchar also played solid, finishing alone in fifth at 12-under.

Overall record: Busbee 6, Bacon 6

Already used: Busbee: Ernie Els, Steve Stricker, Chad Campbell, Bill Haas, Nick Watney, Tim Clark, Hunter Mahan, Graeme McDowell, Brian Gay and Kuchar. Bacon: Bubba Watson, Jim Furyk, Steve Marino, Ben Crane, Jhonattan Vegas, Dustin Johnson, Matt Kuchar, Ian Poulter, Graeme McDowell and Watney. 

Sarah Polley Aisha Tyler K. D. Aubert Sara Spraker Alexis Bledel

Video: World No. 336 gets a 'SportsCenter' highlight

Tennis journeyman Michael Yani made one of the biggest splashes of his career this week when a diving shot he hit during a Dallas challenger was featured on "SportsCenter."

You won't find me complaining about a clip from a challenger tournament getting on "SportsCenter." Throw in the fact that the shot was hit by the 30-year-old American, who's currently ranked No. 336 in the world, and it's even better. Here's the thing though: The shot wasn't that amazing. (Ducks from readers throwing debris.) The effort, athleticism and balance were spectacular, but it just felt a little Derek Jeter-esque. Yani made a moderately-difficult point look spectacular because he was caught a little flat-footed. It's like when Jeter makes a routine play look impossible because he has less range than Britney Spears. No disrespect to Yani. He's been in the top 150 before; I'm sure he has a great, diving shot in his arsenal. This wasn't one of them.

Good shot, yes. Great shot, perhaps. Worthy of a top 10 of the day clip and national hype? Probably not. Either way though, it's still pretty cool.

Jamie Lynn Sigler Stacy Keibler Rihanna America Ferrera Haylie Duff

Coming Attractions: Jamarkus McFarland, Oklahoma’s missing link (yes, still)

Assessing 2011's most intriguing players, in no particular order. Today: Junior Oklahoma defensive tackle Jamarkus McFarland.

? Typecasting. McFarland was the kind of recruit whose courtship gets covered by the New York Times and hobnobs with Heisman winners and sends spurned fans on the warpath when his commitment doesn't go their way —�a top-shelf prospect, in other words, who arrived in Norman at the perfect moment to inherit the mantle of a long line of top-shelf Sooner tackles: Like both of Bob Stoops' previous defensive tackle stars, Tommie Harris and Gerald McCoy, McFarland was touted as an explosive, disruptive type who can beat offensive linemen into the backfield while still possessing more than enough bulk (in McFarland's case, 280 pounds as an incoming freshman) to hold up against the run. He would get his feet under him during an apprentice season behind McCoy, then slide into the void as the resident irresistible force in the middle of the line when McCoy left for the draft after his second straight All-American campaign in 2009.

Technically, that's still possible, though his failure to break out —�or even crack the regular starting lineup —�last year as a sophomore effectively shoved the hype into the freezer. Instead, the demand has shifted from "irresistible force" to "immovable object": The run defense was one of the weakest links of last year's Big 12 title run, and with the up-tempo offense shouldering most of the responsibility for making the Sooners the overwhelming favorites to open at No. 1 in the preseason polls, doing a better job clogging up running lanes is a top priority.

? Best-Case. Oklahoma plummeted from eighth nationally against the run in 2009 to 58th last year, struggling in one point or another against pretty much every variety of ground attack it came across: Air Force's traditional triple option ground out 351 yards and three touchdowns on well over 5.5 per carry in a near-upset in September; Missouri's spread went for 178 yards and two touchdowns in the Tigers' actual upset on Oct. 23; Baylor's spread broke off 237 and a pair of scores a month later. In the meantime, Texas A&M sent tailback Cyrus Gray straight ahead for 122 and a touchdown in the Aggies' upset on Nov. 6, which also included a 48-yard run by quarterback Ryan Tannehill on A&M's first snap to set up another score. Establishing the run is the surest way for opposing offenses to keep Oklahoma's own arsenal off the field and make inroads against a unit that yielded at least 24 points in half of OU's games.{YSPLMORE}

Obviously, someone in the middle of that line has to get better, and there are few better candidates in the entire Big 12 for a leap year than McFarland, who's hardly coming in cold with three starts and steady work off the bench in 20 games in two years. He's also listed above 290 pounds, putting him firmly in the "run-stopper" category. At minimum, McFarland's hitting the point of his career where he should emerge as a reliable (if unheralded) starter; at best, he'll be the breakout star of a line that reclaims its place as one of the most feared in the country.

? Worst-Case. Nothing McFarland has done the last two seasons suggests he's on the verge of spearheading a championship-caliber defense; as spring practice gets underway, he's not even on the verge of cracking the starting lineup, where fellow junior Stacy McGee remains entrenched even after being cited for marijuana possession in February. McGee started all but three games ahead of McFarland last year, with nearly identical production in terms of tackles, tackles for loss and rushing the passer. Defensive tackles don't play on paper�— especially in Oklahoma's scheme, where they're generally charged with occupying blockers to free up the linebackers and secondary to make most of the plays —�but the fact that McFarland was only a part-time bit player on a unit that finished 58th against the run doesn't say much for his prospects of ever being anything else.

? Fun Fact. Over-the-top, high-dollar recruiting tales are heavy enough on rumor and conspiracy theory that they seem more like something out of a contrived movie — say, The Program or Caligula Goes to Studio 54 — as a matter of course. But between bestselling recruiting tales like The Blindside and Meat Market and Willie Williams' Miami Herald recruiting diary and the random Facebook postings of Mississippi State prospects and pretty much everything that happened at Colorado under Gary Barnett, we know that the reality can be every bit as interesting as the fiction, and McFarland's notorious account of a party with triumphant Texas fans for a high school English assignment, of all things, remains a titan of the genre:

But the best summation of his experience might have come from a paper he wrote for his English class comparing Oklahoma and Texas. The paper, "Red River Rivals Recruit," includes a description of a wild party hosted by Longhorns fans at an upscale hotel in Dallas after the Oklahoma-Texas game on Oct. 11.
"I will never forget the excitement amongst all participants," McFarland wrote. "Alcohol was all you can drink, money was not an option. Girls were acting wild by taking off their tops, and pulling down their pants. Girls were also romancing each other. Some guys loved every minute of the freakiness some girls demonstrated. I have never attended a party of this magnitude."
He continued: "The attitude of the people at the party was that everyone should drink or not come to the party. Drugs were prevalent with no price attached."
McFarland later contended parts of the paper were "spiced up" (though after that he also said "I stand by this story" as presented in the paper), but even if he fabricated it out of thin air, the evocative prose and uncompromising commitment to verit� storytelling ensures his place as a recruiting immortal.

? What to expect in the fall. It's a make-or-break season for McFarland, and for Oklahoma: The Sooners have the goods to deliver a national title after a decade of repeated disappointments with the championship on the line, and notable improvement against the run is a critical part of the equation. McFarland is a critical part of their chances of improving against the run. With his potential and two seasons in the rotation under his belt, he's in position to emerge as a reliable stalwart over the next two seasons.

In the big picture, though, the early trajectory of his career suggests his place is as a cog in the system, not a driving force: He's not going to keep OU from going anywhere, but it's fair to say by now that he's not going to be one of the guys who leads them there, either.

- - -

Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

Naomi Watts Leonor Varela Joanne Montanez Michelle Obama Kerry Suseck

Hochevar gets Royals opening day start ?�and a nickname

Cynics might say this falls into the category of "somebody had to go first," but the Kansas City Royals have announced their starting pitcher for opening day.

And that somebody ... is right-hander Luke Hochevar.

("Hochevar," in case you are curious, is pronounced as awkwardly as it is spelled: HOE-shay-vur.)

You also might assume Hochevar has inherited Zack Greinke's mantel, but Greinke has only started opening day once in his career (2010) before being traded to the Brewers. Before that, Gil Meche started three straight openers for Kansas City.

Congratulations, Luke, for inheriting Gil Meche's mantel!

Before Meche, there was Scott Elarton ('06), Jose Lima (Lima Time in '05!), Brian Anderson ('04), Runelvys Hernandez ('03) and Jeff Suppan (2000-03).

It's like the Royals have been wandering around in a desert for the past decade. Or two.

Earnestly, I'm thinking the opening day designation is the sign of something big for Hochevar and the Royals.

Not only might Hochevar be on the verge of pitching well, but in researching his life, I came across his Wikipedia page, which revealed an awesome nickname (almost) nobody knew he had.

"Hochocinco." Yesssss.

He is?! Well, sort of. As often happens, these things start on Twitter, where @prezmike25 responded to @KCYeti one day in January:

While a blatant (and purposeful) ripoff of Chad Johnson's "Ochocinco," the "cinco" part makes sense because� ? as @KCYeti points out ? Hochevar's career ERA is 5.60.

Well, I think Hochevar's going to pitch better than 5.60 this season. As the Fangraphs notes, his career Fielding Independent Pitching is 4.47, and it was 3.93 in 2010. That means, essentially, Hochevar is not as bad as the rest of the Royals have tried to make him look.

Hochocinco also works as a nickname because Hochevar throws a sinker.

Well, a Hochosinker.

There's also the weird kismet of Johnson ? the original (H)Ocho Gangster, himself ? trying out for K.C.'s local MLS club. Plus, didn't he say something about abandoning the Ochocinco nickname?

Dibs!

@KCYeti even took the step of stamping Hochocinco as "internet official" by (harmlessly) vandalizing the Wiki page. And yet, the more Hochocinco is repeated, the less likely the Wikibots will come to scrub it from Hochevar's page.

Hochevar took something of a circuitous route to get here, but someone thought it was meant to be; the Royals tabbed him with the No. 1 overall pick in the 2006 draft.

Sure, the K.C. regime at the time ignored the likes of Evan Longoria, Clayton Kershaw and Tim Lincecum (all of whom went in the top 10). But the Hochevar pick still might work out for GM Dayton Moore, who came to Kansas City two days after Hochevar was selected.

Hochevar is 27 years old, but that's OK (pitchers were born older than hitters) and he's accumulated only 387 2/3 innings in the major leagues. Did we have any idea what Nolan Ryan would become at a mere 387 innings?

Let's just assume not.

Follow Dave on Twitter ? @AnswerDave

Shakara Ledard Vanessa Marcil Rachel McAdams Kristin Cavallari Brittany Murphy